Love
I had a lucid dream last night. Lucid is not the perfect word. The word I am looking for would have the definition... a dream infused with sensory reality. It was one of those dreams that felt so real that I did not want to wake up from it. I do not remember a large portion of it and the portions that I do are choppy, but there is one moment that felt so real and magical that I know in my soul that it existed and that it was experienced by the soul that I shared it with. I've experienced this type of dream before and their rarity adds to their importance. So, here is my dream...
My memory fades in on my return to the world from Narnia. Now, this was not C.S. Lewis' Narnia, but that is what I chose to name it because this was a place that existed within the folds of our own world, just like Narnia. I remember that I had an adventure there, but I had left things unfinished and I knew that I must soon return. However, first I knew that I must go home and see my family and so I did. My home in the dream ended up being my grandparents' house, which no longer exists in the waking world.
The family congregated in the back yard under the Giant Oak Tree that had been cut down 27 years ago. God, I miss that Tree. In attendance were my Mother, my Grandfather, a woman I knew to be my Grandmother though I did not recognize her physical features, and my Father. I told my family about my adventure and I was sure that they wouldn't believe me because that's what always happens in the movies. Boy was I in for a shocker because they all already knew about Narnia. In fact, my Grandfather told me that my Father had become a Hero over there when he had accomplished some amazing feat that had been the salvation of the people there.
When my Grandfather told me this I looked over at my Father in awe. He was leaning against the Giant Oak Tree and his hair was shorter than I'd ever seen it in life and he was wearing the thick horn-rimmed glasses that he wore long before I knew him and he looked so young. I would swear that he looked 19 or 20. When I looked at him he looked down at the ground like he was a little embarrassed. Right then such pride and joy swelled up in me that my Dad had done these amazing things and somehow never managed to tell me about them and I knew this must have killed him because he would have relished the chance to tell me about his adventures. Perhaps he had been waiting for the right time that never came.
So, with joy in my heart I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him in a hug that attempted to push my soul into his because I was experiencing too much love for it not too. At first he tensed up, for he was never one for excessive emotional expression, then he relaxed into it and hugged me back with the same intensity of love that our souls merged together in harmony. It was one of the most wonderful moments in my life because in this dream I got to do and feel something that will never again be possible in this lifetime... I was able to hug my Dad and experience the love that I feel for him and that I know he must have felt for me. I did not want to let go and an eternity passed between us before the dream moved on.
I told them that I had to go back, that there was still work to do. My Grandmother brought out an old wooden box and a staff. She opened the box and told me that if I stepped into the box she could send me back to Narnia directly. I thanked her for the offer of help but politely declined, saying that I preferred to make the journey by foot to the place where I had crossed over before.
That is all that I remember of my dream. What I felt in that dream while hugging my Father was far too intense for it to have been anything but real. I believe that he, once again, came to me in that dream because what happened there I desperately needed to happen, just as his previous three appearances needed to happen. I wrote about one of them back in my May 1st post titled "A dream" and another in my May 30th post titled "Yet another dream..." and the third I have yet to right about because it happened several years before I started this blog. Anyway, ever since my Father's death I have always been very hesitant in demonstrating love to others because I am afraid to let it out and truly experience it in fear of that person leaving again, whether it be by choice or death. In my dream, however, I felt love so strong that I could not avoid expressing it and it is a lesson that I hope to carry over into my waking life. Time here is precious and it waits for no soul. I think that, perhaps, I should stop wasting it.
The above painting is titled "Birth of Narnia # 1" - by Paula Novak
My memory fades in on my return to the world from Narnia. Now, this was not C.S. Lewis' Narnia, but that is what I chose to name it because this was a place that existed within the folds of our own world, just like Narnia. I remember that I had an adventure there, but I had left things unfinished and I knew that I must soon return. However, first I knew that I must go home and see my family and so I did. My home in the dream ended up being my grandparents' house, which no longer exists in the waking world. The family congregated in the back yard under the Giant Oak Tree that had been cut down 27 years ago. God, I miss that Tree. In attendance were my Mother, my Grandfather, a woman I knew to be my Grandmother though I did not recognize her physical features, and my Father. I told my family about my adventure and I was sure that they wouldn't believe me because that's what always happens in the movies. Boy was I in for a shocker because they all already knew about Narnia. In fact, my Grandfather told me that my Father had become a Hero over there when he had accomplished some amazing feat that had been the salvation of the people there.
When my Grandfather told me this I looked over at my Father in awe. He was leaning against the Giant Oak Tree and his hair was shorter than I'd ever seen it in life and he was wearing the thick horn-rimmed glasses that he wore long before I knew him and he looked so young. I would swear that he looked 19 or 20. When I looked at him he looked down at the ground like he was a little embarrassed. Right then such pride and joy swelled up in me that my Dad had done these amazing things and somehow never managed to tell me about them and I knew this must have killed him because he would have relished the chance to tell me about his adventures. Perhaps he had been waiting for the right time that never came.
So, with joy in my heart I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him in a hug that attempted to push my soul into his because I was experiencing too much love for it not too. At first he tensed up, for he was never one for excessive emotional expression, then he relaxed into it and hugged me back with the same intensity of love that our souls merged together in harmony. It was one of the most wonderful moments in my life because in this dream I got to do and feel something that will never again be possible in this lifetime... I was able to hug my Dad and experience the love that I feel for him and that I know he must have felt for me. I did not want to let go and an eternity passed between us before the dream moved on.
I told them that I had to go back, that there was still work to do. My Grandmother brought out an old wooden box and a staff. She opened the box and told me that if I stepped into the box she could send me back to Narnia directly. I thanked her for the offer of help but politely declined, saying that I preferred to make the journey by foot to the place where I had crossed over before.
That is all that I remember of my dream. What I felt in that dream while hugging my Father was far too intense for it to have been anything but real. I believe that he, once again, came to me in that dream because what happened there I desperately needed to happen, just as his previous three appearances needed to happen. I wrote about one of them back in my May 1st post titled "A dream" and another in my May 30th post titled "Yet another dream..." and the third I have yet to right about because it happened several years before I started this blog. Anyway, ever since my Father's death I have always been very hesitant in demonstrating love to others because I am afraid to let it out and truly experience it in fear of that person leaving again, whether it be by choice or death. In my dream, however, I felt love so strong that I could not avoid expressing it and it is a lesson that I hope to carry over into my waking life. Time here is precious and it waits for no soul. I think that, perhaps, I should stop wasting it.
The above painting is titled "Birth of Narnia # 1" - by Paula Novak
posted by phoenixfirerising19 | 7:23 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home