(A) Trying (a) bit of Evolution

Hi,

Thanks for the phone call last night, I'm sorry I missed you. I'm taking it you survived the storm. I saw some of that on the news, it looked brutal. Things have been a little crazy and stressed over here as well. I'm working on moving out of my place. I have to be out by the end of the month and I still haven't found a new place, so I will be moving in with my friend until I can find a new place. She lives in Venice Beach so it'll be a good base of operations for me in my apt hunt as I'm looking to move to Santa Monica or Venice Beach. I need to be closer to the Ocean if I'm going to be able to survive here much longer. Moving has become a very traumatic experience because in the last 4 out of 5 moves I have ended up in a place or situation that has led me to not feeling at peace or has stifled my flow of energy & inspiration, or even worse both. This has led to me having a lot of anxiety about moving because it has just become this big chore that leads to more of the same instead of a step up, and I mean that in more of a spiritual way than a material way. So, since I am moving into N's spare room, there is little room for my furniture and such, so I have to put most of my things into storage and get the stuff I need over to her place and the figuring of that has become a big headache. I can't even tell you how crazy I'd be going now if she hadn't offered to put me up until I find a place. I am grateful to her beyond words. Needless to say all of this stress has been affecting my sleep as I've been waking up in the middle of the night for the past 2 weeks.

Anyway, enough of my woe. It'll be all good and well worth all the effort when I'm living 4 blocks or so from the beach. I'm going to start getting up early for a bike ride or rollerblading along the boardwalk in Santa Monica. Paramahansa Yogananda built a garden, called Lake Shrine, around a lake on the beach side of Sunset Blvd and I will be able to go there more often to meditate. There is a shrine there to Gandhi that contains a portion of his ashes, it's amazing because every time I approach the shrine I am overcome with peace. It's truly a transcendent place.

N's been going through a really rough time lately in a breakup with a boyfriend who has been nothing but a heavy weight on her evolution. She's finally cut that weight loose and I am eager to be there for her as she finally gets to the place she's been striving to be for the last two years. She's been putting so much effort into it while constantly having to fight the downward tugs of her ex and it has made her even stronger and now with that weight lost, she is going to catapult skyward. I'm excited for her and know she is going to become a great source of inspiration and energy. I have no doubt that she will become a Northstar that will shine brightly in the dark places and guide the lost in their upward journeys.

Then, on top of all of this, the vibe in Santa Monica is very open, joyous, freeing and I feel so much better when I'm there. So, I am confident that once I am there I will begin to heal from the claustrophobic, heavy and negative vibe that has been infecting me here in Hollywood and holding me down in its spiritual morosity. So, ultimately this is going to be very good for me but I am not looking forward to the trials that await me over the next few months. However, after writing this, I am beginning to get excited about facing them and coming to terms with my own evolution. Of course, with a view ahead of me like the one above, how can I not get excited as I dig deep for that inner strength that has seen me through so much and make a push for the open sky that is now within reach...

On a complete left turn, my schedule is completely wacked and unpredictable over the next 2 weeks. I know I won't be available to talk at least through Thursday and then we'll have to see about the weekend. I will let you know, but for now email would probably be best. Until then stay dry!!!

Much love,
~B