The Session: Part II

Once the voiding of past agreements was complete we were ready to move on to the next order of business which was the cleaning and reprogramming of my chakras. Now, this was my first introduction to the chakras, I had heard the name in the past but really had no understanding of what they were or how the worked. Janet described them as spiritual hard drives. They store memories and pictures of this and other past lives. This “data” collects over time and begins to clog the system. There are seven chakras in all: What she does is, with the assistance of her guides, she takes a look at what is in each of the seven chakras and interprets how what is there has affected your life, then her guides wipe them clean and work at instilling new agreements that will benefit the direction you are taking your life.

Janet informed me that the guides who would assist her in this portion of the process had a heavy spiritual weight to them and that once they arrived the air would begin to feel heavy and I might begin to feel sleepy and that if I did I could feel free to lie down. Within minutes of her saying this, the room took on a heavy air and my eyelids began to droop as a drowsiness overtook me. I will completely give it up that it is quite possible this was all simply the power of suggestion, but the physical effects were there none-the-less.

During this part of the session I learned a lot of things about myself and my recollection on it is a bit spotty because I did not take notes, a mistake I will not repeat if I ever go see her again. As a result, some things will have more detail than others and none of this portion will be in order except for the seventh and final chakra because I remember that one quite clearly. So here goes…

At one point she looked at me and asked me if I wrote. I told her that I did, here and there. She told me that my writing would become more prolific after this. That was all she would say on that subject.

She told me that I often felt compelled to speak about many things but that I often held back from saying anything at all because of the reaction that my words might bring. This was very true. Sometimes, when I am presented with a situation, I can sort of just see the way it’s supposed to go or the way to work it out. It seems to never fail, that when someone truly takes in what I have to say, they find themselves in a better place because they did. I have also seen the people that seek my advice and then decide to ignore it ending up exactly where they were trying not to be. This has happened countless times on both sides of the fence and as a result I am very comfortable in the counseling I offer, but I never try to push it, because it has never worked unless the person I am giving it to believes that it will work, it’s kind of the key.

She told me that in my past lives I have found it very difficult to keep my voice silent around things that I deemed to be wrong and that it had gotten me in a lot of trouble, especially with the Catholic Church. She said that I had, on multiple occasions, been hung, shot, and burned at the stake for speaking my mind against those in power. This has occurred so often that in this lifetime my fear of speaking out stems from my fear of being burned for it.

She told me that my presence encouraged others to evolve, that there was something about me that would feed and internal desire for change. She told me that the management of my last job was happy to see me go because they didn’t like me. The reason that they didn’t like me was that I was constantly, and I mean constantly, speaking to the other employees about the things that were blatantly wrong about the place. I’ll admit that I am much more of a talker than a doer when it comes to confrontation, remember I’ve been burned for it before, but I am very good at stirring the pot and urging others on to action. We all have our role to play, I suppose.

Now, here is something that really hit home with me. She told me that I was weary, that when I made the decision to go another round down here, I did it with the attitude of, “Do I really want to go through all of this again.” I finally understood the way I have felt since I ceased being an only child at the age of almost 3. I have basically been kind of depressed most of my life and often, in later years, to the point that simple act of waking up and living another day feels like too much of a chore, let alone the entire struggle that is necessary to make something out of that life. Now I want to be clear in this, I have never contemplated suicide; it is something that is definitely not for me. I have, however, on more occasions than I’d care to admit, wished that I didn’t have to wake up in the morning; that I could just go to sleep and move on from this world to a place that I could actually feel happy most of the time, but then that whole stubborn side of myself kicks in and I just refuse to give up. I will not give up. I will fight in my own way until I am no longer able to fight and then I will fight some more.

I’ve made this life very tough on myself with this whole Lack of Synchronistic Evolution thing and I am hoping that the spiritual journey I have been on this year will culminate in life becoming a bit more enjoyable and a whole lot less wearisome. I have felt some strong shifts in myself since I saw Janet and am in the process of making some difficult changes in my life and if I am able to break through to the other side, then I will be living a life that will suit me very well, on many levels. I have an abundance of strength and faith that I will go the distance.

I told her that one of the things that I wanted was to feel something that I have never felt before. I saw a French film awhile back called “Lila Says” and in this film the main character, a teenage boy, saw this beautiful girl and was captivated by her and when she caught him staring at her, neither of them diverted their gaze. In that moment he said to himself, “This is a new feeling. I’ve never felt this before, but I know I want to feel it again.” In that moment I thought to myself, who am I to assume that, just because I am 34 years old, I have felt everything that there is to feel. I want to feel something new.

Janet told me that over the next few months, I would go on several auditions and that I may or may not get the role. However, the people in the room would see a potential in me for something that had not been seen before and they would remember me for other roles.

I had an audition the day after my session with Janet. I did not get the part, but I rocked the audition. I went in the room with a new confidence and ease with myself. They had me read the sides, they asked me to do it again and make a different turn with my character at the end, they liked it and asked me to do it one more time and this time make it bigger and have more fun. So, I gave myself permission to let loose and I became this guy in a way I never had before during an audition. Out of nowhere, this whole physicality manifested itself in an amazing way and I just rolled with it and it was like I was no longer in control of myself because I simply was the guy in that moment doing what he would do. There was no judgment and no censoring; I just did. It was phenomenal and they loved it. I left that room feeling really good about the read and it doesn’t matter that I didn’t get the part because I know that it was for something outside of my control and had nothing to do with my ability as an actor. Let me tell you, as an actor, that is a HUGE thing. I overcame a big hurdle in that moment and it was only the day after my session with Janet. Amazing.

The final chakra that we worked on was the seventh chakra, or the crown chakra, which is located at the top of the head and is your connection to “God”, “The Divine”, “The Universe”, or whatever you wish to call that which is greater than us. The guides told Janet that I had a very strong sense of faith and that it is my strong sense of faith that has aided me in mentally surviving the trials of my Lack of Synchronistic Evolution. I immediately knew this as truth as it has always been easy for me to believe in the existence of something Greater.

I find it funny that in spite of my very strong belief in a Higher Power, I find it very difficult to say that I believe in God. I have trouble with the word God. I believe that this stems from the erroneous and wrong-sighted doctrines of organized religion. I grew up as a Christian in a non-Christian household. My parents did not encourage or discourage my religious beliefs and yet they stuck me in a Christian Elementary School. This was done, however, out of a desire for me to have a better education than a public school offered and during the 70’s, religious schools were the standard of private schools and all my parents could afford. I just thank God that they didn’t stick me in a Catholic School or I may have well ended up with the God beat right out of me, and I don’t mean that entirely figuratively.

The timing of what happened next was divinely crazy. At the moment Janet guided my seventh chakra back into place, the sun broke through the window behind and above me and illuminated the room in a brilliant white light. This light was absolutely dazzling in its brilliance. Janet said that the Angels of Light had descended to give my seventh chakra an added boost. My friend, who first saw Janet some time ago, said that at the exact moment when Janet replaced her seventh chakra, the wind chimes on her balcony started going off. Janet told her the same thing. Coincidence? Perhaps, but I for one am beginning to believe less and less in coincidence.

So here I am, 11 days after my session, finally writing everything down. In those 11 days, I have had a performance for a paying audience and a scene in my acting class. In both cases, I felt really good about what I had done. When I got on stage things just worked better than they had before, almost like joints had been oiled and the engine had been tuned. Things just flowed. You know, I would always get this feeling in the center of my being before I would go on stage, which I always attributed to fear or stage fright. However, before these last two performances I would get the same feeling in the same place, but I was no longer afraid, I was excited. It was then that I realized that the feeling that I had was never fear, what I was actually experiencing was a fear of the feeling. Once I realized that I began to enjoy that feeling and that switch in perspective freed me up onstage more than anything I had ever experienced before and my performance was a joy and I found myself, finally, not wanting it to end. I still have a bit of work to do, but I feel that I will sail through as I don’t feel like I’m in my own way anymore. I am excited about the prospects that the coming year will bring.

So here’s to the journey ahead. May it never end and always spiral upwards.

The Session: Part I

I went to see Janet for two reasons: the first being that I have been blocked emotionally for some time and was hoping for a release from that and second that I had a fear of the moment. There was something inside me that would cause anxiety to rise up whenever I found myself in a real moment in which I knew inside that I needed to take action. I would run from that moment almost every time if given the opportunity. I told her that these were the things that I had determined to resolve by year’s end. I truly believe that the path I had begun to walk at the beginning of the year had, through many subtle turns, led me to her doorstep. If not for many small signs and decisions, I would never have found out about her or, even if I had, I never would have gone to see her because it was simply not something I would never have given any credit to even a year ago. However, I am so glad that I found her as she, through her guides, opened my eyes to myself and I finally understood who I am. The funny thing is that I never would have imagined that it would be that easy. Anyway, enough rambling, let me get on with what occurred during our 3 ½ hour session.

Once I answered the question of why I was there, she asked me if I was ready to begin and I said yes. She then took out a sheet of paper upon which she said she would write down the contracts and agreements that I had made prior to beginning this lifetime. Everything that I tell you here, Janet was told through her spiritual guides, or angels, if you will. A side note on the communion between Janet and her guides. She said that we do not speak the same language, which makes communication difficult, and thus they speak to her through images and intuition, and not through a voice that she hears in her head. Now, according to her we give ourselves a challenge to overcome during any given lifetime and the purpose of this challenge is to grow spiritually as a result of it, kind of like how we go to the gym in order to grow physically.

So, for this lifetime I decided that I would challenge myself with Lack of Synchronistic Evolution. She used the old saying of “getting all of your ducks in a row” in order to explain the meaning of this. She said that most people get all of their ducks in a row in preparation for making their next move. I, on the other hand, have my main duck out ahead of me in a clear and defined position of where I want to go. However, all of my other ducks are either sleeping, scratching themselves or standing in one place spinning in a circle. This all resulted in it taking me a longer period of time to move from one step to the next and evolve. She also said that this created a big hoopla up there as no one had ever thought of that one before.

Here we were at the beginning of the process and already my entire life began to make more sense. All of the struggles that I have been through, all of the extra time it has taken me to move from one place to the next and the seeming inability to be able to do it in a timely manner, has been the challenge that I bestowed upon myself before I ever held the spark of life. Hell, I was even born like 3 weeks late! What a revelation!

She then went on to tell me about the agreements that I had made, of which there were five for this lifetime. The first agreement was with my mother, which was that she resisted my self expression. She said that although my self expression was never hampered, it was not given much encouragement or support either. Again, here was another interesting revelation because I have always had a difficult time expressing myself, especially when I’m required to express myself to another person. It is also imperative that the reader understand that this is not a placement of blame and I do not have any ill feelings due to this revelation. I am writing this as a testament to my own self-healing and do not want any hurt feelings as a result of anything written here as that would be diametric to my intentions.

When we came to the second agreement she needed my help in determining the person with whom this agreement was made. She told me that they were given her the image of a boy around the age of five or six years old and that he lived on my street. She said this boy was very handsome and a jock or quarterback type, who was very masculine and grounded in who he was. She said that he was only in my life for a brief period and that during that time he had a profound impact on me. At first I thought it was my friend Steve Wilson, as he lived down the street from me and was born a few months away from me and we had grown up together. However he didn’t fit the description and I had to delve further into my memory to find this kid.

It was then that I realized that I had moved into my second house around the time that I was five years old and moved on to my third and final house around the time that I was six years old. Hmmm, that seemed to exactly fit the time frame I was given for this kid. Then my mind went to this kid down the street from me that I would pal around with a little whose name was Jamie. However, he didn’t really fit the description either. Then I remembered the boy who lived across the street from me. I didn’t hang out with him very often, although I did look up to him quite a bit and he completely fit the description. His name was Josh.

It’s funny because I can’t even recall the last time I had thought about that kid. I remember really liking him and thinking that he was really cool. He was completely comfortable with who he was and not at all self-conscious. She told me that he was the boy who taught me how to steal cookies out of the cookie jar. She said this figuratively, but the funniest thing happened. When she told me this a long forgotten memory rose to the surface of my mind and I remembered being in his kitchen and his mom was in another room. He pointed up to the top of the fridge, upon which rested and old-fashioned cookie jar. He told me that he knew how to get cookies out of it and that he could show me how to do it. I remember thinking this was a bad idea because only adults were allowed to get cookies out of the cookie jar and not kids. He told me that it was easy. Then he grabbed a chair and put it next to the counter and he climbed on top of the chair, onto the counter, took the lid off of the cookie jar, and took out two cookies, which he handed to me. Then he got down and replaced the chair. I gave him his cookie and he told me that now that I knew the secret it would be my job to get the cookies next time. This was my first realization that I could do things on my own. Crazy.

She told me that Josh was the catalyst that caused a split in my evolution. Before he arrived, I was just me, and moved through the world being happy with who I was. When he showed up I became friends with someone who embodied what a boy was “supposed” to be. Through him I saw that I was different, and that if I wanted to “fit in” I would need to be more like him. After that I began to become very self-conscious of what I looked like and how I behaved. I remember seeing a photograph from Josh’s birthday party that I went to at his house. It was a picture of all of the kids watching Josh open his presents. I stood there watching like I always did, with my hands on my hips. That had always been the most natural and comfortable position for me to stand in. I remember so vividly seeing that picture and hating the way I looked standing that way. I mean I hated it. It was my first true moment of self-consciousness, the first of what would become a lifetime of self-consciousness. I was the only boy who had his hands on his hips and I remember realizing that I looked different and I hated it so much that I decided then and there, at the age of 6ish, that I would never stand that way again. It took me more than a year to finally become comfortable with not putting my hands on my hips.

Janet told me that Josh, or someone similar, showed up in a majority of my lifetimes and each time he would only be around for a short period of time and when he left my perception of myself in the world was always turned upside down. She told me that in this lifetime, Josh caused a split in my evolutionary growth and that after he left this time, my spiritual evolution took one path and my physical, 3-dimensional evolution took another. He was the catalyst for my Lack of Synchronistic Evolution. Let me tell you, my mind was being blown away by how much everything she was saying made sense to me. It was uncanny!

My third agreement was with the Angels of Evolution. Here I really decided to screw myself because not only did I make a contract to experience this lifetime under a Lack of Synchronistic Evolution, but I also made an agreement to take little to no help from the Angels of Evolution. I made absolutely sure that it would be up to me to find a way out of the hole that I dug for myself before I was even born!

My fourth agreement was with God. He signed off on my contract to experience a Lack of Synchronistic Evolution. You know, I can not stop writing Lack of Synchronistic Evolution. It has such a beautiful ring to me, I love it!

My final agreement was with my Soulmate. We made an agreement before this life began that we would not find each other until I had evolved from my Lack of Synchronistic Evolution. Janet told me that when people see my soulmate and I together they are overcome with the realization that we are the example of what a relationship is supposed to be. She said that we are opposite in every way, that what each of us lack the other has in abundance. Janet told me that she is in Los Angeles somewhere, that we may have already met, and that she would “see” me once I had evolved to my next level, which was basically now, since by undergoing this process we were going to void these contracts and agreements in order to free me to continue my evolution in a synchronistic manner. She also said that by deciding to hold off meeting my soulmate I afforded many other people to be happy in their relationships, because once we find each other then most relationships will look pale next to ours. At the end of our session, Janet thanked me for doing this with a palpable sincerity and emotion, so much so that I became shy and bashful; I think I may have even blushed.

She then had me sign my name in the air and she applied my spiritual signature to the bottom of the contract and each of the agreements and declared them each null and void. I am now free to live this lifetime with a clean slate.

My Place

I've been wanting my own place for some time now. The last two times that I've moved, I've wanted to get my own place. I've been working at manifesting it for the last two months, but I've never written down the vision of my new place. So, I'm going to take a hint from ink on my fingers and take another step to transform vision into creation.


My Place

I'm laying down on my oh so
slightly too soft couch.
The sliding door is open
allowing the cool breeze
to float through the billowing
sheer curtains, dancing bliss.
The pungent aroma of sea
raptures my senses
held tight in
its cool embrace.
I look through glass
I see the pale cast
I hear ocean's roar
I taste salty air
and I feel the rush
of joy coursing through blood.
I weep in ecstasy
for I Am
exactly where
I once dreamed
I would be.
Now, Awakened,
I become more
and I begin to live
so that I might live.


I have heard it said that being near the ocean aids in opening up the soul. There is something about its great expanse, always lapping at the shore with gentle touch or angry fists. It's movement is not unlike the fluidity of our ever changing emotions, always in flux, evolving from the world around it. Near the sea our emotions are freed to dance with the elements and learn, once again, what it is to feel that which is lacking. I long to be by the sea again.

Not four years ago I lived a mere 10 minute drive from the ocean. It was while I was attending University in San Diego. I had a job there, driving shuttle busses back and forth from the campus to the peripheral parking lots. There was one route that was coveted above all others and during the summer before my final year; I won the Friday afternoon shift of that route. Tears well to my eyes in the memory of it. The route was from the main campus, which sits on a hill above the Pacific Ocean, down to the Scripps Institute of oceanography campus, which sits upon the shoreline. The Friday afternoon shift was THE most coveted shift of THE most coveted route because, there were very few classes on Friday afternoons and you would probably only pick up 5-15 passengers during the entirety of your 5 hour shift. Then the final piece of perfection placed, ever so eloquently, at the pinnacle of this vision of perfection, was that the shift existed between the hours of 3-8pm, which meant that I spent the end of every glorious week being paid to drive up and down a long winding road that wound to and from the seashore, as I watched the sun set beneath the golden expanse of the Pacific Ocean, as the sky faded from flaming sunset to clouded seaside peace... and my soul ached from joy every time. I need to live by the ocean again and I NEED to feel that feeling again. I can no longer bare to live without it and I WILL soon awaken in a dream become reality.

The Descent into Ascension

The black gaping maw of possibility
awaits a button pressed in expectation
of stories played before my eyes
like the memories of never been.

I await transportation to lands
far beyond the six feet between
myself and the box composed of
atoms that bend space and time.

Energize inspiration with the
power of now seemingly wasted,
spent watching, storing up
ideas of scattered leaves.

A notebook filled, slowly,
churning, burning, evolving
in midnight oil, lost in
dreams of night's sweet bliss.

Discovered again, renewed by
dawn's gentle light through
window's break, reborn in the
phoenix flames of inspiration.

A new idea, never thought that
before, upon the earth turning
through dark matter never ceasing,
never ending; searching for life.

Found, in new words never written,
a story unfolds upon the back of
all that came before, spiraling
anew into the Age that lies beyond.

Beginnings of happenings that will
lead us into tomorrow, seeking all
that was thought lost but now is
found within a soul's kiss; everlasting.

The Age of Awakening approaches like
a thief in the night to steal away
our restless slumber and create in us
all that we never dreamed we could be.

A journey's end approaching...

I can feel the accumulation of a year long journey approaching. I'm excited for a change. Two days ago I finished my stint of the Master Cleanse, a fast in which the only sustenance you have is a drink that you make from fresh squeezed lemon juice, organic maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. It's a detoxifier that cleanses your body of all the toxins that accumulate over time. I was in desperate need of a change in perspective and since I could not change my surroundings I decided a spiritual change was in order. So I semi-fasted on this liquid diet for 19 days and I feel better than I have in some time.

During my 19 days, I dove into 2 books. The first was "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn. It is a book about the Law of Attraction. It describes our emotional states as having certain vibrational frequencies and says that when you are feeling down or depressed you are vibrating at a low frequency, and when you are feeling up or happy you are vibrating at a high frequency. The theory, in a nutshell, is that you attract things to you that are vibrating at a matching frequency. So if you are negative or down you will attract like minded people and the when you are positive or up you will attract people who are in the same state. It's like the Law of Gravity, you can't really explain it, it just is. It's funny, the author didn't really go into this but the theory of the Law of Attraction fits perfectly with String Theory, which is a relatively new theory in physics that explains that the entirety of the Universe is composed of sub-atomic, string-like bundles of energy that vibrate at different frequencies. The frequency that the strings vibrate at determines the type of atom that they comprise, which in turn comprise everything in the entire Universe, and probably beyond. So, it goes to reason that if we human beings are made out of an incalculable number of vibrating strings then it is quite possible that we would attract people that are vibrating at the same frequency. Have you ever met someone and known that you would like or dislike the person before they even open there mouth? I have, and now I feel that I know why. So, that was the first book.

The second book was given to me on the 13th day of my fast by a friend, out of the blue. The book came up randomly in a conversation on the 12th day and I have been working on allowing the Universe to guide me along my path. So, now when something is presented to me unbidden, I take an extra special look at it because it's probably crossing my path for a reason. The night of the 12th my friend told me about this book titled "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahanda Yogananda. He then told me that this Yogi had built a shrine near the Pacific Ocean at the end of Sunset Blvd in Santa Monica. He told me of how peaceful and beautiful it was there and offered to take me there the next day. I was tired and didn't commit to him either way and he told me to call him in the morning and let him know then. I went home to bed and kept thinking that I didn't really feel like going all the way out to Santa Monica tomorrow and the timing was inconvenient with other commitments I had that day. I got up the next morning still uncertain, but then as I grew more awake I began to realize that I needed to make the effort and go because this was one of those unbidden opportunities that crossed my path for a reason, so I called him up and told him I'd go.

I met him at his place and he gave me his copy of the book to read and we went to Shrine Lake. It was so beautiful. A man-made lake, surrounded by a path, which in turn was surrounded by a garden. It turns out that this man, Paramahanda Yogananda, was a friend of Gandhi's and he had built a shrine to Gandhi to one side of the path that held some of Gandhi's ashes. I walked up to the shrine and feeling of peace washed over my entire being as I stood before the shrine. It was truly a transcendental moment that I find difficult to describe. The only words that I have are that it was like walking into a "peace zone" where no thoughts or feelings of negativity or anger could possibly exist. It was moving, to put it mildly. After paying respects at Gandhi's shrine we continued along the path and arrived at a meditation room and spent some time there.

Following about 10 minutes of meditation, not much I know but our time was limited, we continued along the path my friend began to describe to me how, during his meditations, he was trying to work on accessing his emotions because he had been feeling blocked emotionally for sometime. I found this very interesting because I had been having the same problem for some time and had been working on it in much the same way during my fast. Hmmmm, it was beginning to become clear to me why this little excursion to Shrine Lake had crossed my path. The Universe, through the Law of Attraction, was working its magic on me.

We continued to talk more about our mutual problem and I felt the urge to tell him about one of my friends who had gone to see and energy healer after her sister had been killed in a car accident. She had been in really bad place during the month following her sister's death, crying a lot. Her sister's birthday was looming in the coming weeks and she didn't know how she was going to cope. Then the Universe interceded while she and her husband were out at an event one weekend. A woman approached her and told her that she was an energy healer and that if my friend was willing she could help. She gave her a business card and told my friend to call if she wanted and then walked away. She didn't talk to anyone else. My friend went to see the energy healer and had a session with her. The energy healer had her lie down and she spent a few hours healing her. After the session my friend was physically and mentally drained and exhausted, even though she had done nothing but lay there. She immediately felt a weight had been lifted from her and by the time her sister's birthday arrived, she decided to throw a party in her sister's honor to celebrate the love she felt for her. It was at this party that she told me of her experience with the energy healer and I could see the change in her. It was amazing. I wanted to experience her transformation and she gave me the energy healer's info, but I never ended up contacting her.

So, back to the Shrine, and my conversation. He then told me that he had been to see an energy healer a while back and it had helped him also. Although the time he went had been a group session, not individual. We talked about maybe going on the upcoming Sunday. It didn't end up working out because of other commitments, but that's okay because there were other forces at work, more on that in a moment.

So, later that night I began to delve into the Yogi book and it is amazing. The spiritual art of Yoga, as described by Paramahanda Yogananda, falls right in line with String Theory and the Law of Attraction. It is almost scary how all of these concepts that I have been learning about have been being reinforced by things presented to me from many different fronts. I forgot to mention that the Law of Attraction book was an impulse buy. I saw it on a table at the bookstore and felt drawn to it so I decided to pick it up. Bizarre. Anyway, this guy's life is astounding and I highly recommend his book.

Skipping ahead to the day after the end of my fast, exactly one week after my friend invited me to go visit Shrine Lake with him, I see him again in class and he told me that he went to go see an energy healer that another friend in my class had previously had a session with. They began to discuss their individual experiences with her and they both told how they were exhausted for several days after the session just like my friend whose sister had been killed. Three separate experiences with two different energy healers and all three described very similar feelings in the days following the session. Now I'm really intrigued. The woman that my two friends from class went to see was a bit different though. In her process, she removes the Chakras(energy fields) from your body and aids you in clearing them of old agreements and contracts that you've made with your self in this life and past lives. She told both of them things about there current and past lives that held instant connections for each of them, things that they felt intuitively to be true and that explained a lot about their current lives and situations. My friend of the Shrine is already feeling more open emotionally.

I'm not sure how much I buy all of this stuff, but I trust these three people and know that they believe what they experienced. It's good enough for me to give it a go, so I made an appointment to do a session with her next Wednesday. I'm almost afraid to believe it because I'm afraid that it won't work and I'll still be stuck in this place that I am finding very difficult to near impossible to get out of on my own. However, afraid or not, I am going to take a leap of faith and jump into this with an open mind and heart because like everything else before this, it was placed in my path unbidden. I passed it up once and another opportunity was afforded me. Should I ignore it a second time? I think not.

At the beginning of this year I made it my quest to work through my emotional problems, find a way to remove my emotional blocks and move on. The Universe has been trying to help me do just that and now I've finally learned how to listen. The Universe works in subtle ways and I've learned that you really have to open up your mind in order to notice what most of the world allows to simple pass by. We'll see if this path takes me to the destination that I set out on more than 10 months ago. I'm having a good feeling that it will and perhaps, finally, I will mend the heart that broke 24 years ago on the day that my father died.